A Prayer for Blown Deadlines

Hello, I'm Libby Clarke, and this is these are Prayers from an (Im)Perfect Soul.

I'm in the process of discernment to become an Episcopal priest. Much of this process isn't in my control, but I'm working on the parts that are. I'm honing my ability to pray spontaneously and deepening my connection with God. As I grow more assured, my prayers are beginning to encompass others out in the world.

I'm at an interesting time in my life, where my aspirations are still kind of cluttered up with old ideas about myself. I feel a distinct pull towards a serene and contemplative path that requires shedding many preconceived notions about my future. Surprisingly, this process has been liberating. I've been decluttering everything– my shed, my studio, digital files, discarding ambitions that are no longer resonating with me. 

Recently, my prayers have centered around seeking clarity. I'm sharing this one because it encapsulates the tension between my old patterns and the growing clarity of my call. It is getting louder each day, as if I am walking towards a beacon.

A Prayer for Blown Deadlines

Loving Creator–

Lead me out of the morass of my tangled expectations.
Reveal the expanse of your infinite possibilities that dance well beyond my to-do list. 

Forgive me for the promises I make and forget, the tasks I rush, and the craft I forsake for quick returns…

I am part of Your world–
I forget.
I am measured only by Your Grace–
I get distracted by status. 
I am bound first to You–
I wander off.

But in Your mercy, you remind me with every breath–
Your love is seamless and constant, beyond ambition and conceit. 

I blink. I exhale. I reconnect with You and turn back to the world ready to do your work. 

Even if I am a day late.

In Your name I pray.

Amen.